Sex should never be painful, ever. (Unless you want it to be!).
Most women are told that sex is going to be painful at least the first time.
We are taught that we have a bit of skin, called a hymen or a corona, and that is going to need to break the first time we have sex, and there is going to be blood and pain.
The reality is that most women don’t have a hymen that needs to break.
For most women, just living a normal life and doing things like jumping, playing, moving our bodies, using tampons or cups, activities like horse and bike riding, exploring inside of ourselves with our fingers, all of these mean that by the time we come to have sex for the first time, our hymen isn’t there anymore to need to be ‘broken’.
For very few women, the hymen is still is there the first time you have penetration, and can cause a small amount of bleeding and pain. But this should be a one time experience and not continue on. There is nothing wrong with you if this happened for you.
So, except for this reason the first time, sex should not be painful. It shouldn’t hurt at the opening of the vagina, and it shouldn’t hurt deeper inside either.
It can be hard to work out why sex might be hurting for you though.
Take a look at my article ‘what causes pain during sex’ to read a long list of different reasons that sex can be painful.
But more than anything else, please know that sex isn’t supposed to hurt if you don’t want it to. And that if it does, it is possible to find out why, and to heal.
I’ve got more articles in the #PainWithSex category for information about why sex might be hurting for you, and for now, if sex does hurt, here are some things to support you.
You can download my free practical guide ‘5 things you need to know to turn down the dial on your painful sex at the bottom of this article,
you can book in for a free sensual awakening call with me to talk about what is going on for you,
or you can read through all of the #PainWithSex articles that I have written to help you.
Whatever you choose to do, please know that sex doesn’t have to hurt, this doesn’t have to be your life forever.
Love, Naomi xx