There are many, many reasons that sex hurts.
One of the difficult things about having genital pain, or sex hurting, can be working out what is actually happening.
And unfortunately I know that a lot of you have been looking for answers for a long time, and also looking for health professionals to help you work it out.
I have made a list of some of the reasons that sex might be hurting, but please know that there can be many other reasons why as well.
This list is not complete!!
I put it together to try to show that it can be complex to work out what is happening for you with your pain, and that it is always worth trying to find someone to support you.
Unfortunately, not all doctors or specialists know how to work out what is causing a woman pain, so you may need to spend some time finding someone who is able to help.
What is important to know before you read this list, is that most often pain with sex is caused by something like not being turned on enough, or having a lot of fear and shame, which leads to pain.
Don’t read a list like this one and assume that you are suffering from the worst thing.
Here are some reasons that sex hurts:
- You’re not turned on. Your body needs to be aroused to be ready for penetration. If you are not turned on, it can hurt. Do you know what you like? Are you able to let your partner know what you like? Can you ask for penetration to wait until you feel ready? Foreplay is very important here!
- You have an infection. Sexually transmitted infections, and other infections of the genitals can cause pain with sex. If you haven’t had an STI check, that would be a good place to start.
- You have endometriosis or adenomyosis. Both of these conditions can cause a huge amount to pain the genitals and also in other areas of the body. Please remember that there are always reasons that these conditions show up, and so you will need more detective work to find out the reasons why.
- You have fibroids. These growth in and on the uterus can make sex painful. Please remember that there are always reasons that these conditions show up, and so you will need more detective work to find out the reasons why.
- You have a condition like as vulvodynia or vestibulitis. These conditions affect the vulva or the opening of the vagina, but please remember that there are always reasons that these conditions show up, and so you will need more detective work to find out the reasons why.
- Hormonal changes. There are so many different reasons that women might be experiencing hormonal changes, including age, live events, and medications. Again, you will need to do some detective work to know why your hormones are involved and what to do about them.
- Stress, fear, shame, and other emotional reasons. The way we feel about the sex we are trying to have is very important for how much we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
- Vaginismus. This is a condition where the pelvis tenses and stops penetration from happening, or causes a lot of pain with penetration. Again, there are a lot of reasons that you might be having this condition.
- Food intolerances. Yes, these can really make sex painful by inflaming your upper pelvis and also irritating the tissues of your genitals and your bladder.
- Scar tissue and adhesions. If you have scars or adhesions, the ways that they have healed and what caused them in the first place can contribute to your pain with sex. There are things that you can do to heal these!
- Chronic pain conditions in other parts of your body. These can directly affect the amount that sex hurts, even if you don’t have pain in your genitals normally.
- Hormonal contraceptives including the pills, the coils, the creams and implants. Yep, unfortunately these are a big cause of pain with sex in women.
- Genital plastic surgery. Unfortunately, there is a lot of pain that is caused by cosmetic procedures to the genitals.
- Autoimmune conditions such as Lichen Sclerosis and SLE can cause a lot of pain during sex.
- Cysts. We can get inflammation and infection in the glands on our vulva, and this can lead to cysts and a lot of pain during sex.
- Retroverted uterus. If you have pain with deep penetration, there can be many different reasons why, including food intolerances, deep pelvic floor tension, endometriosis, and it can also be because of the way that your uterus is positioned
So, what can you do now?
If you haven’t been to a doctor to have STIs ruled out, or other conditions considered, that is a good place to start.
Then, take a look at my articles with #PainWithSex for some more information about why sex might be hurting for you.
You can download my free practical guide ‘5 things you need to know to turn down the dial on your painful sex,
or, you can book in for a free sensual awakening call with me to talk about what is going on for you,
Whatever you choose to do, please know that sex doesn’t have to hurt, this doesn’t have to be your life forever.
Love, Naomi xx