If penetration hurts even when you are wet and aroused, there are some things that you need to consider.
Firstly, you might not be aroused enough!
I know, we are all taught by social media, movies, books and porn, that when a woman is wet she is ready.
But the truth is that you might need more foreplay, and your body might need more time to be ready for penetration.
A lot of women have shame about the amount of time they need to feel ready for sex, and, I want to tell you that it is your right to take as much time as your body needs to be fully ready for penetration.
Then, maybe you aren’t wet enough. Even though you are wet, it might not be enough, so see if using extra lube can help.
Then, you need to consider your thoughts and emotions. Fear, and shame, and worrying about it hurting can actually lead to pain.
There are also conditions like vaginismus, endometriosis, and pelvic floor conditions that can mean that penetration hurts, no matter how wet you are. I have an article about the causes of pain that goes into more of these.
If you are wet and aroused, and penetration doesn’t hurt to begin with, but then it starts to hurt after a while, it might be that your partner has a mushroom shaped penis head, and is circumcised. A man with a mushroom head who is circumcised might actually pull out your wetness with his penis while you are having sex, which can lead to pain. If this is true for you, you will need lots of lube!
There are so many reasons why sex might be hurting you, even when you are wet.
Unfortunately, female sexuality is so complicated, so I can’t give you any one clear answer here.
What I can suggest is that you download my free practical guide ‘5 things you need to know to turn down the dial on your painful sex’,
you can book in for a free sensual awakening call with me to talk about what is going on for you,
or you can read through all of the #PainWithSex articles that I have written to help you.
Whatever you choose to do, please know that sex doesn’t have to hurt, this doesn’t have to be your life forever.
Love, Naomi xx